I had a chance to visit this muslim town kayalpatnam.It is a beautiful town with every street having a mosque. Muslim women have a different path to walk in this town.They rarely walk on roads. These small way or path is called MUDUKKU. I had a friend named Anisha. She was my cousin's classmate. Anisha a very beautiful girl was engaged to her cousin when she was just 10 years old. I doubt she rarely knows ABC's of married life.But poor girl she has no option but to marry her cousin to whom she got engaged when she was 10.
I laughed out in loud when i heard this through Anisha. Later I learnt this is the practise of the so called muslim town. The town kayalpatnam is filled with muslims. The people of the town work in gulf,asia pacific and all around the world. But they seem to be illiterate when it comes to marriage and their old traditional custom.
Kayalpatnam speaks more of its culture and tradition which i found it highly stupid and not suitable to ISLAM. I was surprised to know that people in kayalpatnam marry their cousins and close relatives only. They dont take marriage offers from the nearby streets too. One street in kayalpatnam named palima theru, people in kayalpatnam treat the people from this street as lower caste and they hardly have any relatives in this street. What a bad example of a muslim town?
There is a great demand for bridegrooms,mothers who have daughters fight hard among their peers to get a bridegroom for their daughters. Men are traded during marriages. How silly? My friend Anisha was engaged with her cousin when she was 10 years old,then her parents tried searchin for another guy. Her parents tried hard to get a bridegroom who was already engaged with another girl. They tried so hard to break that enagagement and it did not happen. So poor parents settled down with her old engagement. This is not new in kayalpatnam,every mother who has a daughter is busy looking for a bridegroom right from the time of her daughter's birth. So weird it sounded to me. This town has prominently influenced by hindu culture, they tie mangalyam as a part of a marriage ceremony.
They waste money in food. I tried to understand about their marriage treat. Usually you have a reception and marriage followed by lunch or dinner. But here the money was spent a lot on food. I ate more than 6 times if I am not wrong calling it as an marriage treat.
Women spend time gossiping in the evening,talking fasad till the magharib prayer. They have stones and small ground called vettai specially buit in front of each house to sit and gossip. I found this town the most backward of all the muslim towns. People always fight with their neighbours who are mostly the relatives. The fight is all about bride and bridegroom.
There are very few rich people in this town who hardly help even their relatives to come up in life. There are great Islamic speakers in this town, who only speak but dont practise.
This town has another funny practise,sending their bridegrooms to brides place to live in,this sounds really funny to me because ever in my life I have seen this. This practise is not encouraged in Islam and said in Islam why do the great speakers of kayalpatnam think about this?
Men live in their wives houses,so called House Husbands. It is a custom that a house should be given to the bridegroom from the bride's side for them to live. What practise is this? Is this a form of dowry? but when you ask the people in the town about this,they will give you an answer that is almost acceptable. They say, that it is optional that every bride's house should give. It is a must optional to give. Please I plea the new generation of kayal to stop marrying your cousins and stereotyping a particular street,living in your wives house. Stop all this. Stop all these practises which was started by your ancestors who rarely knew what ISLAM is?
Look for brides and bridegrooms outside your houses,outside your hometown,stop the house gifting system,it burdens the girls parents. My friend anisha had 3 more sisters? 3 more houses? God I just cant imagine? what will happen to those who dont have money but three daughters?
Very sad. It creates a sense of hatredness towards women. And with this practise of giving houses and searching for bridegrooms right from the day of your daughters birth,increases the chances of less love towards girls. Please stop all these practises before you ruin your so called Islamic town Kayalpatnam and most importantly ISLAM.
